Monday, 17 September 2012

Angrezi ka balatkaar !

“Yesterday ma mom bot me a new cellphn… how kewl is that… ehh!!”
Yes, it’s cool, and even cooler is that the same cellphone will now be used to send thousands of such meaningless texts!!

India is a developing country, even then why the minds of some gems of our generation aren’t developing is a big mystery. If you have been active on facebook, you’ll know this kind of people. Ruthless, merciless, rude and insensitive… towards English. They will roast, fry, bake and finally tear off each word like it’s there own property. Ironically, they noticed that I said ‘there’ instead of ‘their’ in my last sentence.

If I start giving examples, the list won’t end. But on the same time, their efforts are commendable. After all our so-called English speaking people have made their own vocab now. To exemplify, I have some words.

They’ve replaced “picture” with “pikta”. Yes, sounds as it is spelled. Weirdness has just started. The reason behind this change is that “pikta” is easy to type and sounds cool.

That reminds me the word “Cool” is now “Kewl” now I wonder why this transformation occurred, I mean typing kewl is even more time taking than the regular one with two o’s!!
“My” is now “ma”. So apparently “ma” is everywhere, ‘ma cellphone’, ‘ma bike’, ‘ma bag’ and ‘ma college’. The only bad thing is that our original ‘ma’ might not be proud of this.

One of the revolutionary word replacements is “lyk” instead of “like” now I think people will go clean their private jets in the time they saved by typing one less character!
The next spot is taken by ‘ba’ and ‘ny’, believe it or not, these are the replacements for ‘by’ and ‘any’. Kewl, isn’t it?

Recently this is something I read while I was browsing facebook. “Congoz dude cary on… ol d bst fr the future”. But obvious, my comment was “How come you spelled future correctly?”

A PIKTA OF A MENU CRD  I FOUND IN 1 OF D RESTAURANTS  IN MA CTY
COCK OR COKE?

Now that I think, I guess around 380 million people are speaking this 3rd most spoken language in the world. English must be pretty strong right? Well not stronger than us, we kill it every day!
Just imagine, the people who fail to understand how misinterpreted their words can be when they say “can u cum” instead of “Can you come”, how will they understand the actual tough concepts, like the difference between “its and it’s”, “Their, there, they’re”, “Than/then” and above all “Literally and figuratively”!!!

Now you must be thinking why this preaching all of a sudden? Have you ever got seen this status? “Hey ol, how r u… listen I got admit to clg… and ystrday was ma bday… u ol make ma liFE spEcial… THanku… ure ma sweet frnds… will miss ya…”
I saw it this morning, have been tensed since then.

I just want an answer to this query, “Whoever initiated this language, must’ve been a busy man. But did he not know that while he was busy murdering one of the most sophisticated languages in the world, there are hundreds of kids preparing for Spelling bee to honor the same!”
Now that I think, it’s not a one man task, it must have been a group thing. So we can say English has been gang raped.

Now this is something interesting I came across, not mine, credits to a page I found on facebook.
“Proper capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.”

So all in all, I request all, those who do, those who don’t and those who do but will say they don’t, please don’t kill this language. For the sake being kewl… err… cool, you don’t use such words, it makes you look like a fool! And please, you say ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’ the next time, I am gonna take an embarrassing pikta of u and post it to facebuk!!

Saturday, 23 June 2012

BATTLE OF STUPIDITY-SHINCHAN V/S INDIA TV(RAJAT SHARMA)




Somewhere on the "TRP island" - Rajat Sharma's secret hideout


HAHAHAHA!! I WILL DESTROY EVERY BRAIN THROUGH MY EVIL AND STUPID INDIA TV!!

meanwhile - the evil plans of india tv were taking shape

















ALL THIS WAS TOO MUCH FOR OUR SUPERHERO- SHINCHAN NOHARA





NOO! I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!! NO ONE CAN BE MORE STUPID THAN ME!
I WONT LET YOU WIN RAJAT SHARMA!! I TOGETHER WITH SIDDHANJAY WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE!!



AND HE RE-DISCOVERED HIS GROOVE

I HAVE NO IDENTITY OF MY OWN...I AM HERE TO PLUNGE THIS WORLD INTO WHAT IT IS MEANT FOR...STUPIDIY!! I WILL SAVE THE STUPID NEWS CHANNELS FROM GOING BONKERS!!BECAUSE I AM WHAT I AM... I AM THE GREAT SHIN-CHAN!!
AND SO.. SHINCHAN FLEW .. TO RAJAT SHARMA'S ULTRA-AWESOME HIDEOUT

I WAS EXPECTING YOU SHINCHAN



STOP ALL THIS NONSENSE!!STOP FOOLING THE INDIAN AUDIENCE WITH ALL THIS BULLSHIT ELSE I WILL DESTROY YOU AND YOUR CHANNEL BY MY SUPERPOWERS!


I WANT MY CHANNEL'S TRP TO RISE LIKE HELL! MUJHE PATA HAI TUM YAHAN SE ITNI AASANI SE NAHIJAANE WALE...ISLIYE MAINE MERE BHI ATTACKS READY RAKHE HAI!!







KYA KAHA?? EK CHOOTE BACCHE PE ATTACK??ARRE MUJHE KAM SE KAM BACCHA SAMAJH KE TO CHHOD DO!!






BUT THE EVIL RAJAT's INDIA TV TEAM HAD ALREADY DONE SOME BACKGROUND RESEARCH ON SHINCHAN's WEAKNESSES... SO HE UNLEASHES HIS ATTACK

IT IS CAPSICUM(shimla mirch)! NOW RAJAT KNOWS THAT SHINCHAN HATES CAPSICUM!!




BUT SOMEHOW OUR HERO SURVIES THE ATTACK!!!
HO GAYA KYA TERA!!AA GAYA MAZA? ISSE ACCHE ATTACKS TO MERI MUMMY KARTI HAI!!
TUM IS ATTACK SE TO BACH GAYE PAR MERA AGLA NEWS ATTACK TUMHE HILAA DEGA!
TAARIF KE LIYE SHUKRIYAA!!

    AND THEN RAJAT SHARMA'S NEXT NEWS IS REALLY SHOCKING





ISNE TO SACHME HILAA DAALA!!
MAI TO POORA HIL GAYA!!
AB TERA AUR NAHI CHALEGA... AB MUJHE MERI MUMMY KO BULANA HI PADEGA..MERI MUMMY SIR PE TUJHE JORDAAR TAPLI MAREGI TAKLE!!


ABBE OYE RAJAT SHARMA...SIDHE SIDHE HAAR MAAN LE WARNA TERE TAKLE PE ZOR SE BAJA DOONGI
ABHI ABHI SOOTRON SE PATA CHALA HAI KI ISKON MALL BE 50% OFF SEASON SALE LAGI HAI!!
KYA KAHA?? 50% OFF SEASON SALE!!! SORRY SHINCHAN MUJHE JAANA HOGA..TUM KHELO UNCLE KE SAATH!!
SOB SOB...AB TO MUMMY BHI CHALI GAYI... AB TO MAI AKELA PAD GAYA!!
BUT THE EVIL RAJAT SHARMA USES THIS OPPORUNITY AND UNLEASHES HIS MOST DEADLY ATTACK!!!..THE "HIMESH RESHAMIYA" NEWS!!




HAHAHA!! NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU??? WANT SOME MORE?? TAKE THIS!!



























I dare you to spot the cow inside the encircled area!!
(psssst....it's flying)



 
SHINCHAN IS COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED NOW SO HE CALLS ACTION KARMEN,
SORRY SHINCHAN PAR MAI ABHI "AAJ TAK" AUR MR. SANSANI SE FIGHT KAR RAHA HUN TO TUM KISI AUR KO BULA LO 

NOW SHINCHAN HAS ONLY ONE OPTION LEFT,HE CALLS "ACTION SIDDHANJAY" 
AND ACTION SIDDHANJAY BEATS THE HELL OUT OF INDIA TV


 



AND THEN FINALLY... THE "ACTION DOORDARSHAN BEAM"


THAT BRAINWASHED PEOPLE TO WATCH ONLY ONE CHANNEL FROM NOW ON -


  




NOOO!!!PEOPLE ARE NOW NOT WATCHING MY BULLSHIT...NOW THEY ARE WATCHING SENSIBLE NEWS...I AM NOW DEAD WITHOUT MY TRP



THIS WAS TOO MUCH FOR RAJAT! HE DIDNT SURVIVE A MINUTE W/O TRP! PEOPLE WATCHING SENSIBLE NEWS DESTROYED THE IDIOT!!

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED !!!


THANK YOU SHINCHAN FOR SAVING THE WORLD!!
YO BABY! HUD HUD DABAANG!